Does hope drive us to buy skin care and cosmetics?

Pat writes:

One of the halls of residence at my University was called Hope Hall.  In my day this was a women’s hall and all those living there were said to be “living in hope”.  I reckon this is a term that can often be applied to many of us, including some men, especially while we peruse the shelves of the chemist or view the products on offer at beauty counters. 

In my opinion the all-time prize for an honest name for a skin care product is the cream produced by Philosophy called Hope in a Jar.  I think that is what we are often buying, especially when we see those magic words ‘anti-aging skin care’.  We hope that the contents of the jar (or tube, or bottle) will counteract the effects of too many late nights, glasses of wine, even smoking and at the same time hold back the years.

Of course I want to look my best, so I keep up the cleanse, tone and moisturise routine and apply daily make up so that I am well-groomed.  But at least part of me buys into the theory that with enough effort I might look like a younger woman.

Do you remember a few years ago when many branches Boots the Chemist actually sold out of their No 7 Protect & Perfect beauty serum?  There had been a television programme about a scientific study that showed that this serum actually worked.  The Protect & Perfect product says on the label “reveal younger looking, beautifully refined skin”.    This product has a lower price than many other products that claim to achieve the same results and the publicity had women queuing up to buy it.  In fact, I knew at least women who bought a tube even though it cost considerably more than her usual skin care products. 

Sadly, the woman who spent more money than usual failed to see any improvement.  When I asked how she had used it she explained that she put it on after washing her face every night.  The guidance on the Boots website says that the serum should be applied after cleansing and toning, and that moisturiser should be applied afterwards.  Sometimes hope is not enough – you need to read the instructions to get the benefit.

My guess is that logic does not really play much part in the decision to purchase skin care products or makeup.  I confess that I am guilty of throwing logic out the window.  I have read about organic skin care, and I think that the reasons for choosing organic products make a lot of sense.  There are still times when I see a new product and am so convinced that it will improve my skin, that I buy it without even asking whether it is organic.

When I was younger my main motivation to buy makeup came from a desire to look pretty, but now I buy it more for fun.  I believe that I actually enjoy using makeup more now than I did when I was in my 20s or 30s, because I choose things on the basis that I simply like them. My colour choices are based on what I like rather than what I think will make my eyes look wider, or my face more sculpted, or whatever. The result is that I now have more makeup than I did when I was younger, but that is as much to do with having more to spend on myself.

The dark side is that sometimes women buy or refrain from buying through fear.  That is fear of looking old, or fear of looking silly.  I tell myself that I want to look my best, so of course I don’t want to go out dressed in clothes appropriate for a teenager.  But there is that underlying fear that if I do not choose age-appropriate clothing I will look odd and out of place.

On the whole, I try to base my purchases of clothes, make up and skin care on positive thoughts.  In fact, that’s a good philosophy for life.

Small steps can add up to a big change

Pat writes:

The other day Tricia remarked to me that whenever she changed handbags she mislaid something.  For example, if she moved the contents from her black handbag to her red one, her comb would disappear.  I said, “I know what you need – a handbag liner!”  Until last summer I had never heard of a handbag liner, and I only came across the concept by chance.  I was browsing in a clothes shop (one of my favourite occupations) and found some cloth bags with zips and pockets.  The lady who owned the shop explained that the normal contents of a handbag would fit into the liner, and then when you changed bags you only needed to move the liner.  Mine holds my purse, keys, mobile phone, comb and lipstick – all my essential items.  This is a tiny change, but it has saved me an appreciable amount of time and possible stress over the course of a year.

Every now and then I come across a time-saving idea that seems so small I wonder if it is worth bothering with, but I have learned that those suggestions which could play a role in my life actually do add up to a real improvement.

You may wonder what I mean by ‘suggestions which could play a role in my life’, so I’ll give an example.  Five years ago I read a list of time-saving suggestions in a magazine that included putting a copy of all the menus for local take-away restaurants in a folder, and keeping the folder somewhere handy.  At that time I was working full time and commuting, and I did buy take-away meals frequently (rather too often, in fact).  It really did save time to know exactly where to find the menus.  Now that I work at home I almost always cook, rather than have take-away food.  The time for the menu file has passed.

As your life changes, it is worth considering making small adjustments or trying new things in order to save time on routines.  The reason why I try to save time on chores is to make more time for seeing my family and friends or just having fun.

I also try to keep aware of the need to review my general attitude.  By this I mean how I look at life, what I say and how I treat other people.

Many years ago I started a new job that proved to be far more difficult that I had anticipated.  I had a young child and found that I had to work long hours to keep up with the workload.  My assistant had recently married and found that he was spending evenings in the office.  One day he said that he was going home and complaining and asked if I was doing the same.  When I admitted that I did do a lot of moaning about life at the office, he suggested that we make a pact to pretend that things were getting better.  So when I was asked, “How was work today?” I would answer “Not so bad.”  The strange thing was that after about a week of saying things were improving, I felt much more positive.

Recently I have heard a lot of negative remarks coming out of my mouth.  I hear myself complaining about the queue in the post office, crying babies in the supermarket, rude sales staff, etc.  It is quite possible that when I leave the room, people say “there goes Mrs. Moan”, so I have resolved to make an effort to say positive things.   If that’s not possible, I shall try to remember the phrase my mother used to use: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

Do you have any ideas for a small change that could make a big difference?  Tell us about it on our Talk Back page.

Help others to enjoy life with a Random Act of Kindness - scroll down for ideas.

Random Acts of Kindness

The concept of taking part in random acts of kindness to make the world a better place is becoming a popular one. There’s also a ‘feel good’ factor which may even have health benefits. For further information on the web try www.actsofkindness.org

Just look out for opportunities to go that extra mile in the kindness stakes and chances will present themselves to you during your day. If you’re stuck for ideas, the following suggestions may be helpful.

Say a kind word

Pay a compliment

Say ‘thank you’

Make and give away cakes to friends

Volunteer

Babysit

Smile

Raise funds for a charity

Phone someone who would appreciate a call

Treat someone

Help an elderly neighbour with a task

Visit someone housebound, make an appointment first

Buy cat or dog food for an animal rescue shelter

Smile and say, 'Thank you,' to the next person who serves you in a shop

Praise a child

Write a thank-you note

Send a card

Hug your partner/child/parent

Give blood

Say a prayer for someone

Wash a car

Clear up litter (be aware of safety considerations)

Tip generously

Open a door for someone

Forgive an old grudge

Contact a person you have neglected and arrange to meet up

Chat to a person who is alone at a group function

Invite someone to coffee or dinner

Praise your children for just being who they are, no achievement necessary!

Give a bunch of flowers

Give a lift

Make a donation to charity

Pass on a book to a charity shop

Bake a cake or biscuits to share  

Please tell us your way of showing kindness on our Talk Back page.

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